In 2024 I was commissioned by Bbeyond to make two new pieces of work. The first was to be performed as part of Belfast International Performance Art Festival in March.
In January of that year I caught a strange virus where I had a high fever and an unexplained rash like burning all over my body. During my convalescence I slept and drew. I kept thinking about my experience of waiting for buses as a child in Dublin. I made drawing of these memories and decided to use this fever induced delirium as a starting point for the commission.
I’d not worked in this way before – usually I made work and found some way of sharing it. This time I was given a platform to share new work. It was quite daunting but as part of the commission I was allocated a mentor from Bbeyond. I chose to work with Hilla Steinhart, who I had met in Berlin during PODO Festival. As we continued our conversation we found we had much more in common in our practices.
As research for the piece I spent a day taking and waiting for buses. I did not allow myself yo use a mobile phone, our contemporary go to soother for boredom. I leaned into the boredom and observed my experience through drawing and writing.
On my way home, I fell asleep on the bus from Belfast to Derry. When I awoke a phrase for the performance came into being. Over the weeks the ideas for the content of the performance evolved but the phrase remained.
On Friday 22nd March I entered the Glass Box at the University of Ulster and did nothing for 60 minutes.
Reseach by Damaso Reyes
Sound by Hori Izhaki
Costume by Kathleen Spokes
Props by Martha McCulloch and Sean McCann
Mentor Hilla Steinhart
Performance Assistance Siobhan Mullen Wolfe & Sinead O’Donnell
Photography Bronagh Lawson
When I say, I did nothing, I didn’t stay still, I didn’t meditate. It’s not possible to do nothing. Doing nothing is doing something. Breathing is doing something. Being is doing, probably the most important thing we can do. The audience, who were around 30-40 in number did not know what to expect. I felt the weight of their expectations, of my own expectations to do something. I questioned my being, I was filled with doubt and guilt and pain at the thought of having the privilege of doing nothing. But they stayed with me through it. Waited with me. And finally, when the time was up I was distracted by a stone on the table and the sound it made when it accidentally touched an empty plate. I rolled the stone around until the plate lifted from the table swirled across the space and smashed. I quickly lifted the pink paint and rain outside the building to scrawl my confession over the windows.
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